Morning After
by The Sloth Alchemist
Summary: oneshot After a long night of drinking Jean wakes up next to someone he least expects... Yaoi, severe OOC. Supposed to be humor, not realistic.


Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. I'm just borrowing the characters to make them gay and do my bidding.

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Jean Havoc sat up in bed after 15 minutes of trying to ignore the sun in his eyes. He reached for his pack of cigarettes in their usual place on his bedside table. As he lit up he was leaned back against the headboard, when he finally realized that there was a longhaired blond lying in his bed too. The cigarette fell out of his mouth. In shock, he tried to catch the lit cigarette, effectively burning his hand. He placed the cigarette back between his lips as he looked over the blond next to him.

The sleeping blond had a small, lean figure and was lying on their stomach with their right arm underneath the pillow in an effort to make the pillow more comfortable. The long blond hair was hiding the face and most of the shoulders. The blanket was covering everything from the waist down, so Jean had to guess what the rest of this stranger looked like.

_What happened last night?…I remember drinking most of a bottle of whiskey…because…oh, yeah! That bastard Mustang stole my date…again!_ Jean felt the familiar anger rush back as he took a long drag on his cigarette. _Then what?…ok…I ran out of cigarettes, so I went to the corner store… _Jean then whispered aloud in confusion, "but the only blond I saw there was…"

Jean was interrupted by a hand snagging the cigarette out of his mouth. "Hey!"

There was a soft grunt as the longhaired blond shifted to lean against the headboard with Jean, and took a drag from the cigarette.

"Morning Havoc."

Jean stared in shock at Edward Elric sitting next to him.

"Oh…shit." Mumbled Jean.

Edward shot a glare over at Jean. "Don't…you…dare…call me a kid!"

Jean dropped his head onto his arms propped up on his bent knees. "What happened last night?"

"Well let's see…I'm naked. You're naked…we're sitting in bed together…I'd say we had sex!" Ed replied in a harsh sarcastic tone.

Jean tilted his head to the side to look at Edward. "What does this mean…" Jean whispered to himself. _I'm not gay…am I! _"Am I gay?" he whispered again.

Edward leaned across Jean to put out the cigarette in the ashtray next to the bed. "No, you were drunk and I took advantage of the opportunity," Edward said as he started to pull back to sit back down.

_Then why…do I still want to touch him?_

Jean grabbed Edward's shoulders and flipped him onto his back before straddling him and claiming his mouth with his own.

Jean pulled back after a minute and with a devilish grin asked, "So…who was top last night?"

"You were," Edward replied with a nip to Jean's ear.

Jean rolled so that Edward was the one straddling him. "Your turn."

* * *

Later that day a very sore Jean Havoc walked into the office at HQ.

"Afternoon Havoc!" called Fuery and Breda from their desks.

"'Noon," mumbled Jean as he sat at his desk.

"Why are you limping? Havoc, sir," asked Fuery.

"Fell in the shower, think I bruised my tailbone," replied Jean with the lie he'd thought up earlier.

"Oh…um…can I ask about the hickey on your neck?" asked a chuckling Breda.

"My date last night was a little rough," Jean responded with a smile.

"Wait…you got laid!" exclaimed Breda in shock.

"We know her?" asked a mildly intrigued Riza.

"No…I don't think you know _her…_She travels a lot, so I probably won't see her again for a long time."

"Well…looks like some people here own me money. Pay up boys!" cried Riza excitedly.

"What! You've been betting on my sex life!" cried Jean angrily.

"Oh, cheer up Havoc! I bet that the Colonel would be unsuccessful in wooing your latest lady," Riza replied calmly.

Around that time Edward strolled into the office. "Who said it was a lady who left that mark on his neck?" He asked calmly and seemingly uninterested.

"What?" Fuery, Breda and Riza all looked at Edward in confusion.

"I said, 'who said that a lady gave him that hickey?'" Edward repeated coolly.

"But, then how did he get…" Riza trailed off as Mustang opened his office door to walk out.

"What's everyone staring at?" the Colonel asked everyone standing around.

"Havocs got a hickey and we're just trying to figure out who his lady friend is," answered Breda.

"I though I told you. Havoc's partner may not have been a lady at all!" Edward said again, but was ignored.

Mustang inspected the hickey and mumbled to himself, "But I took your date last night…"

"Yeah, you bastard…luckily I found someone impervious to your so-called 'charms'…" Jean glared at Mustang.

"Quit being cryptic and tell us who she is!" Riza barked the order while reaching for her gun.

Edward, meanwhile, was becoming angry at being ignored.

"Well, the she is…actually, its kind of funny…" Jean started to reply nervously.

"Its me!" Edward screamed before pulling Jean into a tantalizing kiss.

Everyone froze and stared at the two kissing men in the middle of the office.

"Ahem…I told you he was gay," muttered Fuery.

"How'd you know?" asked Riza as she continued to watch the two make out.

Fuery shrugged. "I figured he'd eventually get sick of the Colonel stealing his dates, so he'd go for someone the Colonel wouldn't try going after."

"Actually…" Jean said after pulling away from the kiss, "I was drunk out of my mind when it happened… and he came onto me." Jean pointed over to Edward.

Edward shrugged and said "Yeah, so?"

"And after I woke up next to him I freaked…and _then_ I realized I still wanted to, erm…be with him," Jean finished explaining as he wrapped an arm around his new lover.

"What about you Fullmetal? When'd you go gay? I thought you liked your mechanic," Mustang said turning to Edward.

"I didn't "go gay." I've always been gay. And Winry's like a sister to me, nothing more," Edward calmly explained to the Colonel.

" Shoulda' known with those damn leather pants…"Mustang muttered.

"I think he looks sexy in those 'damn leather pants'" Jean said before stealing another quick kiss from Edward.

"Yeah, and that's why you're the one fucking him and I'm not." Mustang replied coolly before turning around and walking back into his office.

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Thanks for reading! Please review. It would make me ultra-uber happy! 


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